Please tell me honestly and tell me why, no stupid comments like ‘no it’s utterly crap ha ha’.
Thanks
It’s long, i know, sorry.
Here goes:
"Hey Megan, that girl looks like you, Chris said, "even your hair, though yours is longer."
They were watching the movie "Empire Records" on video. Megan was working in a record shop herself and she had brought it home with her.
The girl (Robin Tunney) strolled into the shop without greeting anybody and went right towards the bathroom. Amazed Megan and Chris noticed that she grabbed a pair of scissors and began chopping off her hair.
"What’s she doing?" Megan exclaimed unbelievingly.
"Looks like she’s fed up with her hair," Chris stated dryly.
Clumps of hair fell down, the right side of her head was covered with short wisps, and at some places her scalp was visible.
The next scene showed her busily shaving her head with clippers
"She looks cute without hair," Chris noted. "Wonder how you would look like with a shaven head."
Megan laughed: "Well, go ahead. Try it out."
Without saying a word Chris rose, put a straight chair in the centre of the room and beckoned Megan to come over. Still laughing she did and sat down, assuming that Chris was kidding. They liked to play this sort of game.
Chris covered her shoulders with a towel and left the room. Soon he was back with a pair of clippers, put the plug into a socket and held them menacingly in front of her eyes, flicking on the switch. Again Megan laughed, still thinking he was teasing her. But suddenly Chris put the clippers at her hairline and moved them back to her crown! For a moment Megan sat petrified, then pulled her head away and jumped off the chair.
"What are ya doing?!" she cried, "Are you crazy?!".
"Love, you told me to!"
"I didn’t mean it, thought it to be one of our games."
"I’m sorry, really, but there’s no way back."
Megan felt with one hand at her head and headed for a mirror. She saw a nearly bald patch as a broad centerpart on the frontal side of her head. No way to cover that.
She laughed: "Think you’re right Chris, better finish it."
She sat down again and Chris brought the clippers back to life. A few minutes later Megan’s blonde tresses were lying on the floor.
Megan stood up and looked at her image. Chris was standing behind her. "Wow," she said, surprised to see how good she looked. "You look even cuter than that girl in the movie," Chris remarked.
She noticed the bulge in his pants, she herself was aroused too. She unzipped his fly and his tool jumped out. Soon they were both naked and made love on the floor, Megan’s hair sticking to their sweaty bodies…..
The next morning Megan said: "Wonder what my boss will say and the other gals and guys."
She wasn’t afraid of repercussions: the shop was a trendy one, visited chiefly by youngsters. Extravagant clothing and hairstyling were not unusual. Though, Megan’s radically changed appearance called for a lot of comment. Boys dared other girls, especially Georgia, a girl with shoulder length brown hair, to follow Megan’s example. Of course she accepted the offer, but only if Chris did it.
I like it and think it sounds good. Only thing is, the sex scene jumps comes out of nowhere. It’s completely random…it’s like, "They just finished cutting her hair. Oh! and they had sex! Then she went to work…" Totally random; the story’s better without it. It would be better if Chris gave her a short, cute, but meaningful kiss instead, and they proceeded to watch the rest of the movie cuddled in each other’s arms.
powered by Yahoo Answers
2 Responses