Also tell me what kind of vibes ou get from the characters?
Combing out the knots in my hair was getting troublesome. I picked up a lock of it and criticized the heat damage and badly split ends; then the thought came to me. I turned my head slowly with a smile and found my red scissors sitting on my bed. Hey, Mom *did* say it was time for a hair cut. I strained my arm for the scissors; I was too lazy to get up.
"Alright, hair, let’s see how this goes," I said, looking in the mirror.
My reflection stared back at me with everything that I was: deathly pale skin with strikingly contrasting, black hair and blue- gray eyes bored into slightly sagging hollows. My chapped, cherry red lips were turned upward in mischief. I kicked the garbage between my legs. With my right hand, I held my far too long bangs and cut. The remainder of my bangs rested just over my eyes and reached the bridge of my nose. I continued to cut the rat’s nest on my head, giving it layers and some Elizabeth-style character. I was pleased with my finished product, but Mom wasn’t.
"You stupid girl!" she screeched, "We’re going to end up paying more money to fix your hair than we would have to get it cut to begin with!"
"I don’t really want it fixed, Mom," I said quietly. I didn’t really mean for her to hear me, but she did.
"Fine. It suits you anyway."
I smiled. I knew I had done well for my first time.
"Stupid looking hair for my stupid daughter," she hissed.
My lower jaw trembled and I braced myself for the tears. My left index finger scratched the hoodie’s cuff on my right arm furiously. I turned on my heels and went outside to wait for Alec. As I sat on the stoop on my apartment, I rocked back and forth, heel to toe. My arms made clasped the opposite shoulder and I breathed heavily, sometimes in bouts of hyperventilation. Some time after I had calmed down, Alec showed up with his skateboard in hand. He dropped it when he saw me and put an index finger on either end of my mouth and forced me into a smile.
"Try on a smile," he told me, "One size fits all."
I laughed and picked up my bag. With an arm hooked through mine, Alec teased, "Sometimes I wonder if you ever smile when I’m not around." I looked up at him and poked his ribs. But it was true, I owed most of my smiles to him. He was my best friend. When he wasn’t looking, I pulled his hood up over his head and ran. It was just like the first time I met him. It was on the first day of freshman year and I was looking for Michael’s familiar blue and white hoodie in the sea of excited students. When I thought I’d finally found him, I ran up behind him, pushed his hood up, and pulled the drawstrings, leaving only a little hole for him to look out of. After that, I took off and waited for him to come after me. When I turned, my face was redder than a summer sun at sunset. The person I had just hooded wasn’t Michael. Of course, I didn’t know who it was at the time, so I ran again, ran straight into homeroom. I was safe until third period, Geometry. I was terrified when I saw him at the door. He was in my class. I didn’t know his name until Mrs. Borowski called it at attendance. The same day, on my way to PM homeroom, Alec caught up with me and introduced himself as the one I had hooded. I apologized and told him what really happened. .After school, we met up again and he helped me find out what had become of Michael. As fate would have it, he moved away while I was at summer camp and neglected to tell me to avoid hurting my feelings as if finding out on my own was any better.
Alec was already popular at school because he knew everyone from his younger years and the year before, but I was new to the area and knew no one. However, Alec brought me into his group of friends, though he was the only one I was really friends with, even now. Alec finally caught up with me and grabbed me from behind. He turned and put me down so that he was in front of me in the direction I ran. He threw his skateboard to the ground and sped off. I, being lazy again, just sat down on the sidewalk and watched him until he stopped. When he did, I sent him a text saying that I wasn’t going to walk alone. This forced him to come back and walk with me
"You’re really lazy, you know that?"
"Yeah," I said, matter of factly.
We spent the day at the mall, browsing through the stores where we would never buy, just for fun. I had him try on different mismatched outfits and he did the same. After strutting around the stores in hideous outfits, we bought a small, stuffed cat that we dubbed, "Turtle, the Vampire." Turtle was black and had two different sized button eyes, one big and gray and the other was smaller and red. He was lacking stuffing. He was perfect.
"Who gets to keep him first?" I asked.
"You do, of course. I think he likes you more."
"Aw, don’t say that. He loves you too!" I told him.
Alec walked me home that night. It was cold, so I made him walk in front of me
I was the family’s singer and dancer. When the twins learned to move around and talk, they took my place. Rachel, the older of the two, was the dancer while Annabelle was the singer. Even when one was better than the other, both girls still had talent in those areas. I was afraid to do things in front of them. If they learned whatever I did, they would be better.
They were in the kitchen after I came home from school. Somethine smelled sweet and I went to see what it was.
"Come have a cookie, Lizzie," Rachel invited.
"Yeah, Lizzie, have a cookie. We made them," her sister prodded.
My mom knitted her fingers together nervously. She knew that I would only settle for my real name, Elizabeth.
"Elizabeth," I said. "My name is *Elizabeth*." I emphasized each word, but I made sure not say them angrily. I always got in trouble if I lost my temper with the girls. I was supposed to "set an example" because "they looked up to me." I sat with them and took one their cookies, hoping tha
WAH! THEY WONT LET ME ADD ANYMORE
to break the wind. He was resisting just to get on my nerves. He left at the door so that he would make it home in time for his curfew. After he left, I stayed outside and counted the stars, wishing that he could have stayed to do it too. His warmth was gone and my eyelids drooped in a frown. I had to walk in alone and face my parents with my "stupid hair." I was saddened by the thought, but was even more upset that Alec forgot to ask me what was wrong this time.
"Am I just being dependant on him?" I asked myself as I stared at my bedroom ceiling. The house was quiet. Mom was at work, thankfully, and Dad was somewhere else. Music played softly from the speakers on my bedside table. I liked my music low when I talked to myself. "Well he’s your best friend, so it’s okay to feel like that," I told myself. "Well, I guess. So why did he forget this time? Do you think something was wrong?"
I heard a thud come from downstairs and immeadiatly felt stupid for talking to myself outloud. I t
I turned the music up higher, just enough to tune out anything outside of my room. I continued the conversation inside my head and concluded that I should ask how he is every once in a while. It wasn’t like we were dating or anything, so he wasn’t exactly responsible for how I felt. I sighed and tried to ignore the voice in my asking why Alec didn’t like me in that sense.
And this oneeee?
I Apologize… hehe
It was finally Friday. The first of them in December, to be exact. It was also the day that Mom brought home my cousins. They were a younger than I and copied every move I made since they were born twelve years ago, a few weeks before my birthday. I was five and really touchy about them doing that. I wanted to be cooed over too at that age, but everything was always about the twins. As they got older, they began doing impressions of me when they weren’t copying me. They scrunched up their little faces and pushed their eyebrows inward, making them look angry. The first time I saw them doing that, I stomped away and cried. No one came after me. Instead, I heard laughing from all the adults and the beat of four feet stomping after mine. I knew that it was mean of me, but I always had a strong dislike for them since then.
Over the years I learned to stay away from them. Before they were born, I was the family’s singer and dancer. When the twins
What you have written can be reduced into four nice paragraphs.
Add details for god’s sake!
Open the damn thesaurus!
The main female character is unrealistic. I like the male character, though. You should keep him as he is.
You can do better than this. Seriously.
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